Oh, dear friends:
A nightmare week has made many things apparent, one of which being the fact that I am seemingly not coping properly with stress and whatnot. I've been atypically cynical and sad, and just generally quite sick. To combat this, I am starting this blog. Sure, I could just write in a diary and keep it all private, but why would I want to do that? I'm self-indulgent, and you are too (that is why we have the internet, isn't it?). Furthermore, to be perfectly honest, I'd like the practice with writing. For some reason, I feel very rusty and unfocused when writing anything other than poetry. Mayhaps this blog will assist in the defeat of this writer's block. More likely, I'll probably forget about this entirely, but hey! It'll be fun for a while.
Okay, so I've had blogs before, and I know that they're terribly lame, and I'm not saying mine will be any different, but I will promise to keep it emo-free. I won't Gwyneth out over how hard my life is, and I will try to write on a general theme rather than "and then I went to the movies... then I went shopping" bullshit.
Anyway, this week, a compound of various stresses brought forth the well-repressed (and rightly so) cynical, defeatist Kayla. I've been so afraid of failure that it turned me into something of a monster. My priorities were askew, and I spent a lot of time sort of teetering. But fuck it, that's done (for now? Impossibly forever, but I'm trying). This grad school shit is making me a bit more crazy than usual, but perhaps that's a good sign. A just a little sign that I'm feeling better: it's 6pm, and there's still a lightness to the sky, and this makes me infinitely happy.
I'm probably going to use this thing to ramble about various things that entertain/ annoy me. You know you want to read it. It'll be littered with references to Godard (there's two already!) and all the other crazy (pretentious?) shit that I love. I'll try not to embarrass myself too badly.
Also, I employ parentheses a lot. Deal with it.
And, fun fact: After like sixteen years, I have finally fully accepted bananas back into my diet. CRAZY, ISN'T IT?
Looove.
oh Kayla love, I will thoroughly enjoy reading about you from across the ocean. It will fill my unemployed days with joy! Or, well, more joy. 'Cause I've got a heap here, but none of it Kayla induced. So here's my fix. Mmm. Good!
ReplyDeleteSomething of a mantra I've taken on is that as awful as it sounds you should always expect the worst, that way no matter what happens you will always be pleasantly surprised. And almost always you will be more than surprised, you will be ecstatic and you will glow. And Kayla, you need to, you can, glow.
xo
trisher
I love parentheses too, and porcupines.
ReplyDeleteI also love spring, and can't wait for that glorious season.